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12 Rules to Live By

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There are a million rules or guidelines that govern our lives each day. The government gives us some. Employers give us more. Churches have their rules, too. But have you ever stopped to think about what your own personal code of conduct is? How you will choose to act in certain situations. What kind of person do you want to be in this life?

Let me share some of the things I strive to live by.

1. Make the most of the present moment

I’m a dreamer. I have a very vivid imagination. I’m exactly who they’re talking about when they say introverts have such a rich inner life that they often prefer their own thoughts over external interaction.

This ties in with the fact that I’m often so future-focused. I love planning, goal-setting, ruminating on my three-year plan, five-year plan, ten-year plan (yes, I have those) and basically just plotting world domination.

But it’s good to be still and know that God is looking down, watching me, orchestrating my life. It’s good, critical even, to look at the beauty around me, get present with my children who are growing so fast it makes me dizzy, and appreciate everything I’m blessed with in this present moment.

2. Focus on imagining a bright future rather than replaying memories of the past

The past is not a good place to live. So many of us can’t move forward because we’re bound by memories of the past. Learn from the past and move on from it. Nobody can move forward looking in the rearview mirror. On the flip side, if you think about the past because it’s better than the present ask God for a new vision for your future.

Image result for woman praying3. Be grateful for even the ‘little’ things

What I consider little things: food, water, electricity, etc. are NOT little things. So many people in this world don’t have these things.

4. Know your purpose and get after it

Purpose gives life meaning. Impacting other people’s lives has to be one of the greatest blessings there is. And when your desire is to leave this place better, even if in some small way, than how you met it, you won’t have time for drama and negativity. Which leads me nicely to the next point.

5. Tune out negativity
There is enough negativity in the world. I want to be someone who stands out when God looks down. Someone He notices because I’m being Godly, shining His light and making the world a better place with my attitude.

6. Discuss ideas not people

When you discuss people it’s very rarely positive. Ideas usually center around something that doesn’t yet exist in the world, at least not in the way that you are envisioning it. Ideas/creativity are part of what make us resemble God’s image.

7. Send the naysayers love and keep moving

Jesus said love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Enough said. Hate them and you become like them.

Image result for journey8. Understand that life is a journey

Everything isn’t going to happen all at once. It’s about taking another step each day and letting God work everything out according to His plan. Humans haven’t yet figured out how to teleport. We still have to travel through time and space. It’s the same with God’s plan. There’s no teleporting to the end of the road. You must walk each step.

9. Refuse to make decisions based on emotion

Take time out. Read a book. Talk it over with a trusted person. Go for a walk. And only when you have gained control of your emotions should you decide. This is huge.

10. Know that consistency is usually more important than speed

I used to feel like I’ve wasted a day if I haven’t added 10,000 words to my current work in progress. Then I decided I was going to ratchet that up to 13,000 words a day. And…life sucked. I was mentally drained. Exhausted. Tired. Then God led me to this concept of how consistency is better than speed.

Writing just a manageable number of words a day is better than overstretching myself to write an insane (for me–some other authors manage it) number of words and then burning out and having to keep stopping and starting. I can think of so many areas of life in which this one applies, but I’ll leave it there.

Image result for forgive11. Forgive others

Forgiving that person who hurt you isn’t saying that what they did is okay. It’s saying that you no longer give them and what they did the power to hurt you or the right to dominate your thoughts. Let it go.

12. Forgive yourself

Sometimes this is harder than forgiving someone else. Release your self-judgement and self-criticism. Stop remembering what God has forgotten.


Which ‘rule’ most resonates with you? What would you add?

Pure Passion Series Purity Upcoming Book , , , ,

Upcoming Book: Purity

ImageThis book announcement is so overdue, especially since I finished writing this book in February. I was dying to tell you all about it back then (It’s called Purity, by the way), but since Bondage was the next book in line, it seemed like a good idea to just stick with talking about that.

Purity is the third book in my Pure Passion Series. It took me twenty-three days to write, a writing record for me. Hopefully I’ll be able to write future books that fast. The cover was originally meant for Bondage, but it suits Purity much better. I’m so glad I switched them around.

Purity is basically an interracial love story about a girl who has stayed pure and a guy who hasn’t and how they work out their relationship. I had so much fun writing it. It’s a lot simpler than Lust and Bondage, but it’s very close to my heart as I got to write some things that I’m very passionate about personally.

I’m a youth leader/mentor at my church (although I did take a break for a few months because I had a baby—incidentally I resume my duties today), and I try my best to encourage young people to stay pure. Not just because it’s one of those things we have to believe in as Christians, but because I personally believe in it. It’s God’s best for us. Sex is a gift. It binds you to another person. Which is a good thing if you’re married and not so good if you’re not, as when you eventually do get married, you’ll need God to unbind you from previous lovers so that you can bind to your husband/wife (and that’s just one of the reasons!). But the emphasis of the book is more on heart purity than whether you have an intact hymen or not.

Anyway, before I start preaching (lol), here’s the unofficial synopsis:

Harper has always believed that love is worth waiting for. Can Caleb show her that it is also worth fighting for?

Harper’s reputation is cleaner than a whistle, and she always wondered why people couldn’t just say no to temptation until she met big, brooding Caleb.

Caleb paints all women with the same brush he paints his cheating mother who had an affair and left, devastating his father and meaning Caleb had to grow up too quickly. Surely Harper is the same.

After a disastrous first date, Harper is angry—mainly at herself for breaking her no dating rule, especially for a guy like Caleb. She’d like to just avoid him for the rest of her life, but they are signed up for the same summer mission which means six weeks of fake smiles.

Regardless of the awful date, something keeps drawing them together, and neither of them have the strength to fight it.

But, four years ago, Harper had an experience that changed her perspective on life and rocked the foundation of her faith—something she is keeping from Caleb. And then a shocking revelation about Caleb shows that their pasts are entwined in the most devastating manner, and Harper isn’t sure she can overlook it.

As they were both raised by single fathers, compatibility is something they have strong opinions about. It’s what ensures a great marriage, right? Same faith, same world-view. Same race?

As they battle these tough questions, Harper decides that maybe they’re better off apart.

And Caleb decides that she’s wrong.

Purity is a story of love and acceptance that will go straight to your heart.

I’m not sure whether I’m going to release Purity over the next couple of weeks, or whether I’ll hold back and release it alongside the next book in the series which is tentatively titled ‘Pressure’. I’ve almost finished writing Pressure so I think it’d be good to release them together. What do you think?

Have a fab Sunday xx