Motivation New Year Planning , , , , , , , , , ,

Already Broken your New Year’s Resolutions?

Happy new year guys!

Today is the 15 of January, and according to research, this is the day by which most people have already broken their new year’s resolutions. Can you believe that??? Most people’s new year’s resolutions last 15 days! There’s other research that says the 24th of January, which is slightly better, but still awful.

So…if you’ve already broken your resolutions, I want to tell you that it doesn’t make you a failure, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Maybe you just didn’t plan enough, or you didn’t anticipate a certain setback you’ve experienced, or you haven’t made it compelling enough. Here are 4 tips for getting back on track (You can either watch the below video or carry on reading below):

https://youtu.be/H0iVuhUTddc

1. Regroup

It’s one thing to fall off track, it’s another thing to abandon your resolution and your goal altogether. Giving up on a resolution just because you’ve fallen off track is like smashing your phone just because you’ve dropped it. If you drop your phone you don’t stamp on it and smash it to pieces. You pick it up, because it’s useful. Because it’s something of value.

Your goals and your vision are valuable. If you’ve dropped the ball, pick it up. Regroup. Think about what you’ve done wrong and how you can do better. If it’s a diet goal, are you being too drastic? Are you focused on what you’re not allowed to do rather than the benefits? Let’s say you want to lose ten pounds. Are you focused on all the don’ts?

Don’t eat chocolate.

Don’t have ice cream.

No donuts.

Or are you focused on the goal and getting yourself excited about it? Getting excited about the body you want and the positive improvement in your health that it’ll give you?

2. Remind yourself of your reasons

Why do you want to lose that weight? Why do you want to wake up at 5am? Why did you decide to stop drinking? Why do you want to work harder? Why do you want to read through the whole bible?

How will it change your life, your family’s life, your future?

Hold your reasons in your mind and it will fire you up to act.

3. Refine your vision

You refine your vision by seeing your destination. See where you want to be on December 31st of this year. Engage your imagination. Stop looking at the things that stand in the way, the things that have caused you to already get off track, and look at the endpoint. You go in the direction of what you focus on. What are your looking at? The here and now, or that destination that you want?

A wise person once said, ‘Only those who can see the invisible will achieve the impossible’. And if you’re saying, ‘Hold up, Dayo. I’m not trying to achieve the impossible here. I just want to lose some weight, I just want to stick to my bible reading plan, I just want to be nicer to my kids.’ I hear you. But if you’re not already doing it, it means it’s been impossible for you so far. Maybe you’ve managed to do it in the past, but right now, it’s become impossible. Refine your vision and start looking at the invisible. Talk to yourself and claim the behaviours you want in your life. Tell yourself, ‘I like to drink water and eat healthy food; I work out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; I read my bible every morning; I wake up at five am every day and pursue my priorities; I am a loving and patient parent.’

It may not be true just yet, but guess what? Give it some time and you’ll start moving in that direction. Your behaviour will adjust to match your new beliefs and you’ll begin to move in the direction of that vision that you’ve decided to focus on.

Some people will say that’s being fake, but it isn’t being fake. It’s faith. It’s being like God who calls the things that are not as though they are. That’s Romans 4:17 and it means that God sees the mighty man of valor in Gideon while he’s threshing wheat in secret, hiding from the Midianites. He sees the great king in David while he’s a mere shepherd boy. He sees the mother of a mighty nation in Sarah while she’s still barren. All of these people through whom God worked in Bible times had to have faith and get in alignment with the vision.

The Shunammite woman in 2 Kings 4 had just lost her son. He’d died. But she said ‘it is well,’ not ‘he’s dead’, because that was the vision she had about the situation. And things did turn out well in the end.

Refine your vision. Look at the invisible. Things will begin to change.

4. Regular review

Review your resolutions regularly if you want to stay on track. It’s up to you how often you want to review them. For my writing goals, I record how many words I’ve written in a spreadsheet every single day and that’s a kind of review for me that helps me ensure that I’m being productive.

For all my other goals (non-writing ones) I review myself weekly on Sundays. After church my kids go to their grandparents house, me and my husband have a nice meal and hang out, then at some point before I go to the evening service I make some time to review the week and see where I fell short, where I did well, and plan my action points/to-do’s for the coming week.

If you’ve already dropped the ball with your new year resolutions, pick it back up. Dribble it. And determine to slam dunk it by December 31st 🙂 And if you’re still on track well done, keep going and may God prosper all our endeavours.

I’ll have a book update for you soon so watch this space.

God bless.

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My Summer Round-Up

I can’t believe how quickly this summer has flown by. It’s been very busy for me as I’m sure it has been for you, too. I’m doing some reevaluating as we go into into the last few months of the year, which is so much fun for me as I love introspection and evaluation (typical introvert). And I’m working on a Life Plan. I totally recommend it. It’s great for thinking about where you are and where you want to be 🙂 Anyway, I’ve been a little quiet since publishing Pressure (Pure Passion 4), so here’s a rundown of what I’ve been up to this summer (apart from my regular writing duties of course):

Publishing Pressure

PRESSURE COMPLETEI was a little worried about how Pressure would be received because it was the first thing I published after the Crystal series. I hoped people wouldn’t find it boring since there’s no ‘missions’, danger or supernatural stuff. However, I received some lovely feedback about it. My favourite was an email that said: ‘James (the hero in Pressure) has replaced Juda for me’.

I was like, ‘are you kidding me?’ I put in so much effort to make Juda mysterious and enigmatic and appealing in that dark, dangerous way of his. But it was great to hear that a lot of my readers are happy to move on from the Crystal series and are excited about new characters. I wrote Pressure in 2013 and couldn’t really remember much of what it was about until I dug it out to edit it. I think the way you feel when writing a book sometimes affects how you view the book. I was really unwell back when I wrote it, and I even spent a few days in hospital, so I’ve always thought it’s not a great book. But it’s actually pretty good (if an author is allowed to say that about their own book).

Weddings

20160709_112126.jpgSo many people I know got married. There was a wedding like every weekend in July. This is me at one of them. Some lady tied my head-wrap for me in the toilets because I had no idea how to do it but I really wanted to fit in with all the other women, ha ha. Believe me, the headache I had when I took it off at the end of the day was no joke.

The Olympics

Mobot Christ our Redeemer.jpgCongratulations to the USA for winning, but how awesome were Team GB? I couldn’t believe how well we did. For such a small nation to come second and do so well made me so proud. I’m still in shock. There were so many things I learned from the Olympics. Life Lessons. I won’t bore you with them all, but here are a few.

Lutalo Muhammad – He was about to win a gold for Great Britain in Taekwondo but his opponent somehow managed to kick him in the head in the dying second of the fight. It was heartbreaking to watch Lutalo’s interview after it. He was crying and saying it was a low point in his life. I got on my soap box and preached at my husband for like ten minutes about how we have to be focused and fight until the very end. That interview was so heartbreaking because Lutalo was crying like his whole world was crumbling when everyone back home was so proud of him. A silver medal is pretty awesome. So I changed tack and started preaching at my husband about how we’re so hard on ourselves when we should just take a step back and see how awesome we are and how much we’ve achieved. It was so inspiring to see how much Lutalo wanted that gold. How much it meant to him. True hero.

I wasn’t sure what I thought of Shaunae Miller diving at the finish line in the women’s 400m, but if you want something that badly I guess you just have to go for it. The women’s triathlon was another thing that had me just staring at the TV in awe. Goodness gracious it looked painful. But it was also so inspiring to see their endurance and how they were pushing beyond the pain, pushing themselves past their limits.

Not to mention the ‘greats’: Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps & Mo Farah, who are just dominating in their respective sports. I think it’s awesome that they are older athletes, too. They’re not ‘old’ by any stretch of the imagination, but they are older athletes and they’re still swiping all the golds. It’s just amazing to watch these people. I get the same feeling of awe when I see Serena Williams still winning grand slams. Regardless of these people’s nationalities, pretty much the whole world supports them and likes to see them win. If I can be half as good at writing as Usain, Michael and Mo are at what they do, I’ll be a very happy author. I watched a documentary about Mo Farah, called the Road to Rio. The sacrifices he makes to be the best are astonishing. He couldn’t even speak English properly when he moved to the UK as a child. Imagine the self belief and discipline it took for him to get where he is. It got me thinking about how seriously I approach my writing, how good I am at fending off distractions and having just one focus, and my personal discipline.

“And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible” (1 Corinthians 9:25 – KJV).

I like the NLT for this verse: “All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.”

There’s another life lesson right there.

 

I did a 5K

IMG-20160813-WA0013 (2).jpgMy daughters think I’m an Olympian and won gold, ha ha. Let me preface this by saying I have NEVER done anything like this before. It was one of my New Year goals to live a healthier lifestyle, so I got two of my friends on board and we did it together. It was so much fun that we’re signing up to do it again next year. We’re thinking of signing up our husbands for a 10k. I’ve been dropping hints to my husband about it but he’s not taking the bait at all, ha ha.

Church Stuff

ablazelogowip.gifEarlier this month we had our annual youth conference, Ablaze 2016, which was so much fun. My husband made the cool Ablaze gif to the left. The highlights for me were:

– My brother’s talk on salvation. I was wondering how he was going to approach it since it’s been done a zillion times and our youth group has heard it all before, but somehow he managed to make it fresh and inspiring and I really got a lot from the talk.

– The talent show. There’s so much talent out there. God has given it out so liberally. If in just my youth group there are singers who’d give Beyonce a run for her money, rappers who can write their own lyrics, artists who can look at a picture of Jesus and draw it perfectly, guys and girls who can create a whole indie movie, and much more, then how about the rest of the planet??? What are we doing folks? We all need to start using our talents.

I also just got back from a national church conference yesterday, at which I spoke to the young adult section about choosing a career. I used to work in HR and I have now quit my job to focus full-time on writing, so I have a lot to say about careers and success (it’s my second-favourite topic to speak on after purity 🙂 ) It was a lot of fun. Even more flattering was the fact that they all thought I was their age (19 – 21) Until I mentioned my husband and children, then they were all gasping in shock. Great for my ego, ha ha.

Anyway, summer is over now, so it’s back to serious work. I’m hoping to publish six books before the end of this year. I’ll try very hard to do it. I’m praying for God to help me to have more discipline. More about those books in a later post.

So, enough about me. How was your summer?

God bless.

On Writing Personal , ,

Happy 2015!

2015For some reason I’m really excited about 2015. I’m not quite sure why. I just like 2015 and feel like it’s going to be a great year 🙂

I’ve been thinking about my resolutions and what I want to achieve this year, and as usual I have so many things. I’m pretty private about my goals. I know some authors will write about all their goals on their blogs, but just the thought of doing that gives me chills. I will share a few of my goals though. Not just writing related ones.

Prayer

Last year, I didn’t do so well. Because I’ve been going to church for as long as I can remember, and I made my personal decision for God when I was nineteen, a day doesn’t pass when I don’t pray in some form. But I also set time aside to have more focused prayer. Last year I had a rough time in the first quarter of the year, even ending up in hospital in March, and after that I got stuck in a rut where my praying was more daily adhoc prayers rather than dedicated time. I felt horrible about this when I was taking stock a few weeks ago. I have to get back on track this year because prayer really is my sustenance. Occasionally I would set a day apart and tell my husband I’m praying, but still, it wasn’t good enough. I think daily dedicated time is best for me.

God is so faithful. He still inspires me even when I haven’t been faithful to Him or given Him priority in my life.

Writing

I’m the kind of person who likes to set aside large chunks of time to write. On a Monday and a Tuesday I can write for about eight hours each day. On a Saturday I can probably snatch four hours to myself to write while my husband and my eldest daughter go for the evangelism programme at church (I stay home with our youngest). This year, I’m going to try to write for two hours every day. The reason for this is, if something comes up on one of my heavy writing days I lose all that time and my word count for the week suffers. Also, it’s hard to stay in the ‘flow’ if I’m having a writing binge at the beginning of the week, then not writing again until Saturday. If I just write two hours a day, there’s no need for a binge, and I figure I can write almost a full book each month if I stick to two hours a day. (Although I love my eight hour writing sessions).

So, there are two of my goals. I have more spiritual and writing goals, as well as marriage/family goals and workout/diet goals. I’m not trying to lose weight (I just want to make that clear in case my mum or dad read this, ha ha. Mum thinks I’m too skinny). I’m just trying to be healthy because I eat too much junk i.e. sweets. I’m trying to stick to water and healthy snacks this year. I’m trying to be a good example on this for my kids too. I can’t really tell Rhema off for always eating sweets if she knows I keep a stash of mentos, chewits, haribos and lollipops 🙂

I also have a big birthday coming up this month so I’m evaluating my life and where I’m at. A few months ago I was dreading this birthday, but I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m looking forward to it. Partly because the husband and I have some cool plans. I’ll try to get Insurrection (Crystal 3) published this month. I’ll do a cover reveal soon.

What are your goals for 2015?

Dayo xx

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New Year’s Resolutions

ImageHappy belated 2013 everyone!! Hope you’ve had a great start to the year.

This year I took a few days before deciding my resolutions because I really didn’t want to rush into making decisions and then feeling guilty when things don’t go as planned. I also wanted God to help me focus on what’s important. Sometimes, I have this tendency to focus on things that will take care of themselves.

I finally took time out yesterday to spend some time with God and pray about the year, and work out what my resolutions should be.Here’s a VERY abbreviated/watered down version of my resolutions:

1. To walk closer with God

Something along this line is on my resolution list every year. It takes the top spot because I know that anything I achieve without God is meaningless. Like Scriptures say: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these other things shall be added unto you,” (Matthew 6:33).

2. To be a better wife and mother

This encompasses oh so many things. I have come to the conclusion, in the short time that I’ve been married, that only God can teach you how to love.

3. To release my Tough Girls series

I’m really excited about this series, but I’m trying to reign my excitement in as excitement can make you release a book before it’s ready. I do think this series is pretty cool though. I hope it outdoes my beauty for ashes series. I want each book I write to be better than the last.

4. To drive more slowly

I’m ashamed to admit this, but I turn into like this maniac once I get behind the wheel. I seem to have this need for speed that’s really not good. So far this year I’ve been good. It killed me at first and my foot was itching to press down further on the accelerator, but I’m getting better now. I’ve been keeping to 30mph and I hope to keep it that way.

5. To write book reviews

It surprises me every time I get a message from one of my readers saying that they wish there were more authors like me, or more authors that write for Christian teens. There are! Lots of them. So, I’m going to start posting book reviews on my blog.

I have more resolutions, but I’ll spare you. What are your resolutions and have you accomplished any of them yet?

God bless.